Bailee and Hiwarau camp writing.

Adding Detail To Sentences

A complex sentence has more than one clause. It has added detail giving the reader more information. It adds interest and makes writing JUICY.

You can add to the

beginning

middle

end

of simple sentences.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

At Kawau Island for our activity Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen who is trained in safety and first aid was our coach on the large wooden, and very challenging confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course which is a ropes and wood set of activities at Camp Bentzon.

I was nervous about sailing on camp.

At Camp Bentzon I was nervous about sailing on camp.

I was nervous and beginning to shake about sailing the tiny wobbly optimist boats at camp.

I was nervous about sailing on camp but I soon learnt that the worst thing that could happen was that I would get a free swim!!

I was nervous about sailing on camp because I thought I was going to tip over

After looking up at the terrifying wall we went abseiling.

We went to the abseiling course

Kawau Ksland

Next week the year six'es are going to camp at Kawau island and I would like to go fishing because I go fishing at Waheki island.

The whisper

In my story there are a sheep and two men.The men's names are Bob,Boxy and the sheeps name is Roxy. They live up north there coulcher is mouri

One day Roxy was eating grass over on the paddock she was all alone well thats what she thourt. She wanted to stay away from the crowd of sheep they were so noisy and boring for Roxy. Thats why she wandered off alone so it’s not to noisy.

Then she heard a noise it sounded like someone was whispering. It sounded like they were saying lets get the sheep thats alone in the small paddock. It was Boxy and Bob “there going to put me in the ice-erlator room where they freas the sheep and then chop me up and then eat me”said Roxy.

“Aaaa someone help me Boxy and Bob are chasing after me and i’m slowing down” said Roxy “aaa there got me i’m going to die know smash Roxy hits the ice in the ice-erlator room it’s so cold I can’t breath”said Roxy.Then the next day Roxy was not seen again

The Little Pigs

The Big Flood

In my story there are three pigs trapped on a broken roof and they live on a farm there names were bob log and frog

The pigs are jumping on the roof “why are we on the roof mum” said little pig

“because there is a big flood coming” said mummy pig

There are some pigs trapped pigs on a broken roof and there’s a big farm behind the pigs.It looks frezzing for them

Oh no the pigs are sinking I think the mum is the heaviest of them all because she has all the milk.“yes here comes the rescue boat to save us so where not going to die” said little pig.

paragrah 1

The Accident

One day there was a boy called Sean Bob’s his uncle. Bob said “you can hop on my four wheeler” “thanks Bob” said Sean. You're the best Bob said sean.

And then Sean went riding of on the four wheeler. 1 our latter sean didn’t come back then Bob and Sean's Dad went to find him.

Then they heard a little sound saying “help help someone help” it was sean stuck under the four wheeler his legs were broken. Sean’s Dad called 911 Bob tried pushing the four wheeler of Sean.

Sean was balling his eyes out aaaaaaaaaa. Then the cops come to help push the four wheeler of and get him to the hospital

His bonus were split up. The doctors were putting a cars around his leg. Then the doctors came out and said that his leg will be broken for the houl summer.

The End